Laying in bed, the moment people typically say they just feel numb. I wish I felt numb. No, I could definitely feel it. A sharp, nauseating pain in my stomach. That feeling when you think you have to get sick, but you haven't ate all day so there's only water in there. You can't even cry anymore because you're too exhausted and literally feel as if you have no more tears left.
All you can do is lay there and think about life, the struggles that come with it, how you got to this point, and how are you ever going to make something of yourself now. No, you aren't giving up, but you feel completely defeated and lost. Some have told you this is what therapy is for, but you're too stubborn to admit you have a lot to get off your chest. And you've become so independent at this point that you'd rather just find a way on your own, without the help. But it always leads you right back to this moment; fetal position, nauseous, and alone.
This was my turning point. Not right away, but I knew I kept coming back to this place, a place I hated with every ounce of my being. One day I finally decided I was done, it was time to find a way out. This was when I went to my BODi Coach and said, I need change. I wasn't looking for a physical change, while that would be nice too, but I needed to change on the inside. That statement confused me though, because I didn't want to change everything about me. I loved me! There was so much good in me and I think that's why this hurt so badly, because there was still the girl inside of me that was ready to fight and continue building her dreams. I couldn't let that girl down, and I definitely couldn't tell that girl she needed to change.
This is why I'm obsessed with the rebranding and new direction our company has taken. We're no longer focusing on fitness as a body changer and our before/after photos. Yes, they are very encouraging, but that's not our main focus. We are all about allowing that girl deep inside, who you truly are, to thrive. Not changing her, but building her. Encouraging her. Letting her come out and shine every damn day because she has worked so hard to stick around in there and knew that her day would eventually come. Without this mindset I have no idea where or who I would be today. This is what I truly believe saved my life. So now I'm going to spend the rest of my life, continuing to grow and learn, but most importantly help other women thrive and succeed at championing their innermost self. Please, do not be as stubborn as me. Email me at info@lifewithstephanie.blog and let's chat. You deserve this. I believe in you.
Until next time,
Stephanie
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